A Note from the Universe and How I Botched it

I know I tested it and botched it up too.

I asked the universe to give me an answer to a personal question this morning and got it!

It took a while but, the sign appeared just as I had asked even as I was on the verge of giving up. I was shocked and stunned. Then, thinking that it must be a coincidence, I challenged the universe once more to prove by making the 'sign' appear again. And there it was - just as I was laughing at my own gullibility in believing that the universe sent out signs!

I froze and squirmed in my seat, clutching the steering wheel tight with both my hands. I was stumped. More than anything, it was the improbability of the incident that got my goat.

Here I was, sitting in my old car, driving to work and randomly throwing a challenge to the universe with a dare in my smile and lo, it accepts it and sends me an answer!

It shook me up. Especially because I was not expecting the universe to comply so calmly and say, "take that bugger!"

But, once I had the answer to my smart ass question, I was cornered. If the answer was 'yes' and I had asked for a definitive and got it not once but twice then, it would have repercussions. I had not asked myself what if the answer was 'yes'? When the answer did turn out to be 'Yes!' I was scared more than triumphant because I had not thought it through before throwing the challenge with an extraordinary mental swagger and a lopsided, 'I know better' grin.

That is when I threw in the next question but, with a whole lot of trepidation. Needless to say, that with so many negatives and 'what ifs' running over my mind, I did not get a positive answer.

It is then I realized that I had botched it up.

When the universe was so close, I sought something I did not probably want. I agree that I was on a testing mode but, even then, I could have sought answer to something if not sensible then at least useful! Something that I really wanted and knew would make me happy when I got it. But, no. I had to ask for something that I was unsure of. So, as soon as I had it, I myself gave it up - even before I tried it out! I call me a coward. You may too.

How pigheaded was that?

However, what I did understand in retrospect was this, "if you are determined and strong-willed then, the universe does answer your queries and perhaps even help you get to your goals." That is what everyone says, isn't it?

Anyway, I'm still too much of a human. I still have to learn to say the right thing at the right place. A lesson learnt. However, confidence and total faith in the unknown universe is a must here. If there are doubts then, it may not work out. The universe does court fools but, it has no time for doubting Thomasinas.

But, the most important achievement, the discovery that the universe does respond to queries. That made my day and buoyed my faith up a notch!

To My Wayside God

Kali by me at Pushkar, Rajasthan

I met God on my way to school many years back.
If God was not so common, I would never have found mine;
She rested under a tree all stark and dark and hidden.
Her red tongue hanging out, surprise frozen on her face for eternity.
Sheltered, next to the trunk of the big old banyan,
Covered by the thick leaves that stopped the sky from taking a peek,
I watched her everyday on my way and back;
She looked chilled and ready to grant wishes,
I'd fold my hands, say my prayers and walk away;
She always came through and I was forever blessed.
This went on for a while till I changed my route;
She continued lazing under the tree while I made my way into life.
I looked for her everywhere, in temples, churches and mosques,
She looked better off and well dressed,
But, there were always crowds seeking, jostling, praying, crying;
So, one-on-one was impossible.
I missed our old camaraderie.
One day, I went back to the old town and on the old route,
I found the banyan tree, I saw it from a distance. It looked bigger.
Like a canopy, a gypsy's old tent - ramshackle and disreputable,
A tangle of thick leaves, gnarled branches and roots - falling from sky into the Earth!
I laughed in my mind, thinking, 'how can a God live here?'
Still, dragging my reluctant feet to the grove, I looked for Her.
It took me a while because, now, there were several there;
Abandoned, forgotten and forsaken, they had created a family in the grove.
I looked and found many of them, some orange, many blue, others black or pink.
Obviously, the color of their skin was not a problem in this household.
I sought hard and looked around the roots till I found her,
She was lounging on the shoulder of another. A blue God.
His muscular back was supporting her chin.
They looked happy together, one black, the other, blue.
Her tongue red and eyes wide she leaned on him,
She looked relaxed like, she was at home.
He sat calm with his two eyes closed while the third, looked straight at me.
I smiled at them. They smiled back.
I folded my hands and bowed to them,
They blessed me with hands frozen in blessing for anyone who sought.
Overwhelmed I cried, blessing my God for having found her Lord.

Image courtesy, Steve McCurry