In the last few years I have had to stand face-to-face with sadness and depression a few times more than I would want to. While it turned out not too alarming but, it can. I have lost a few friends to it already.
I think the trick lies in understanding your feelings and being in touch with yourself. The minute you start feeling the downward gravitational pull, just hit the panic button.
Meditation has helped over the years with hightened awareness but, it also makes me vulnerable at times because it has pulled a whole lot of walls down from around me in a world that wears armor at all times.
Depression
Depression is the gnawing in your soul that makes the skin under your hands and feet crawl even when you sleep. That kind of sums it up for me. Depression is nobody's friend. I can vouch for that because I have lost more than a few happy friends to it.
Art
Every time I feel sad, I turn to creativity even if it has to be by force. For me art and words are the two tools that bring stability in chaos. It may not be true for all. But, throwing yourself into serious work or even cleaning the house just makes it worse for me.
Food
I love to cook when I am alone but, when I feel sad, I just think of eating. Pushing myself to cook works because eating the end result is always an uplifting experience.
The DIY Managing Life Changes List
Reading
May or may not work always. I try choosing reading material that promises happy ending or a solved mystery.
Films
Movies also fall in the same genre as books. They sometimes work too well and push me into a creative mode but, at others, they push me into darkness and mistrust.
Sleeping
It works like a dream but, in the long run, it is a downer. Avoid sleeping. Instead binge watch a sitcom or all the seasons of Sex and the City (if you can lay your hands on it).
Exercising
In my case, aimless walking works but, exercising behind closed doors makes me lazy afterwards. I love to think I am moody but, I know now that it is not true. I tire easily in structured environment and it is highly probable that the lethargy I feel is more mental than physical. So, choose your exercise regime with care.
Stay Healthy to Stay Happy this Winter
Planning
That works amazingly well for me. I plan itineraries and make up speeches I am going to give when I am famous. It immediately changes my mindset, lifts my mood.
Social Media
Is lethal unless it is a space / platform like Pinterest that allows creation of boards full of things you would like to do one day. I would put it under planning. Under any circumstances stay away from WhatsApp and Twitter - they are toxic mostly.
Family
It works like magic. Sleeping next to your mother at night, no matter how old you are are a sure way to feel happy but, it could backfire as well. Remember parents love to make things "right" for you and seeing you unhappy can pull them down as well.
Hobbies
That's another lifesaver but, I have to push myself to get things going. Journal writing helps immensely because it allows venting as well as planning.
The idea behind writing this digital post is selfish. These posts act as reminders every time I feel the force of gravity on my mood. I have gone back to writing physical journals. I use pens, colors and imagination on diaries that I can read later and feel proud of.
Yes! Self love is absolutely important and we must keep patting our backs at all times. It's the surefire secret to a lifelong high.
Anatomy of Depression
(Images: Pexel.com)
And just like that, winters are upon us! The days are short and nights are long and foggy. You hear stray cats and dogs crying all night out in the streets and the bed when you get into it is as cold as a bucket of ice water.
And though, Christmas makes a big splash followed by New Year celebrations, the fact that December holds a mirror to what's gone by makes things even worse for most people.
The easiest thing seems to be basking in the Sun during the day or sitting in front of the heater / hitting the sack in the evening. Which in turn makes you feel guilty because, you have wasted another day that could have been productive.
Contrary to urban legend - mostly revered during school and college days - winters are not about hibernation for humans - especially the morning and daytime. Nor are all humans nocturnal beings.
If anything, winters should propel you into action. The weather is nice after sweating through the heat and wading through buckets of rains it is a welcome change from the heat and dust that ensures that you stay holed up inside or parked yourself near an air conditioner.
The thing about winter is that it always creeps up on you and like most things that creep up, winter brings with it a whole lot of dissatisfaction when it suddenly jumps on your back.
It took me years to realize that cold and dark weather makes my mood go cold and dark too. It brings with it a feeling of isolation and loneliness. The cozy comforter may not always be the reason why you don't want to get out of bed, depression is a very big reason for wanting to stay put and hide with your favorite pillow.
It took me almost a week of trying to get up and about but, failing to make it before mid morning to realize all is not well. As I work mostly from home and don't meet 'real' people most of the time, I was virtually sitting ducks for winter to take a pot shot at me.
Once I started feeling irritated with my own habits, I decided to scourge the Internet to check if there was something actually wrong with the pattern I had fallen into - waking up very late, getting too few daylight hours and falling asleep around early morning at 3 or 4 am.
What I found out was kind of scary. I was a prime target for SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Though not as huge a problem in India as it is in places with very less sunlit hours and longer winter, it is not uncommon here either.
Since I am NOT a psychiatric I shall not try to explain the disorder per say but, that it brings with it mood swings, feeling of lethargy, depression, anxiety and in serious cases, suicidal tendencies.
The next thing that I did was to look for alternatives to break the rhythm. I tried the usual things that one is supposed to do when suffering from depression till I was able to make a dent and break the badly-effected sleep cycle.
If any of you think, you are feeling under the weather too, I would suggest that you try some or all of the things I did to get myself back on the healthy track. These are small things that you can add to your daily routine to make the winter blues melt into the blues.
Walk
I don't jog because of the pollution in Delhi but, I walk. If morning is too cold then, take a walk mid-morning or early evening. It's all good. Avoid going out with a bunch of people and gossip because, it will not help at all. Also, don't take the car out for short trips to the market - walk. Walking clears your head and makes happy hormones flow. In short, walk is a great exercise. Try to take in the nature around you when walking. You could also listen to soothing music as you walk to take your mind off distractions.
Practice Discipline
I had once read that Earnest Hemingway used to wake up in the first hour to write and no matter how wasted his night was, he would not give up this habit. Though I am no Hemingway, I have tried to discipline my life and though I don't need to go anywhere in the morning, I have tried to set a routine to my life. I now wake up with an alarm clock and work during the first half of the day. It usually frees me up by lunch time. I look forward to the evening for pursuing things that give me happiness like watching a movie or reading a book or going out to meet friends and family. Because I have finished my work first, I don't feel any panic to get back to it till the next morning.
Eat Well
Food is the most important reason why humans have probably come this far. Never keep the revered stomach empty. If you are hungry, you are bound to feel low. So, eat well and eat in short intervals to help your metabolism high. Keep the stomach filled with good food - no processed stuff out of the box please. Winter is the best time of the year to buy fresh produce. Eat fresh salads, fruits and dairy products. Drink a lot of water and tea to keep yourself hydrated. The heater sucks out a whole lot of precious water from your body. Remember to keep a bottle of water handy to keep chugging.
Avoid Alcohol
Try and keep away from the bottle especially if you are on your own. Alcohol dehydrates your body and makes you crave for more because there's no one to talk to. In the end it brings you down. So, keep off.
Clean Surroundings
If you live alone like me, then the chances are that you don't feel like cleaning up because, there's no one to see. That is a very bad idea. Keep your home neat and clean. You should always feel happy and welcome in your surroundings. A clean and tastefully done home gives out good vibes and makes you happy. So, clean up fast especially the areas most in use starting with your home office to your bedroom to kitchen and bathroom.
Smell Great
It goes without saying that you should take regular baths. But, try and keep the area around you smelling nice. You can burn incense, oil or just use a room spray that makes your nose happy. I was recommended camphor by a good friend and have realized that using it on a vaporizer helps not only to perk up the mood but also, fight clogged nose and keep bugs away. It makes me feel energized and happy too.
Pick up a Hobby
Or two. I can never recommend it enough especially if you are an introvert like me. Hobbies keep you happy and can be anything that interest you. Even feeding the strays in your area. It need not be highbrow or expensive. You can just doodle on a notepad and see what comes off and even that will give you a sense of achievement and a high.
Laugh
Do whatever it takes to exercise your facial muscles. You can join the local laughter club, read funny books, subscribe to websites that send jokes in your inbox or watch a sitcom. Whatever it takes, laugh as much as you can. Personally, I interact with little children to crack me up. Their antics are enough to make you laugh for a whole day. After all, laughter, they say, is the best medicine.
Cook
Cook as often as you can instead of opening a can or cutting a carton. Cooking is a fine therapy and the sight and smell of home-cooked food is an instant pick-me-up.
Pamper Yourself
Don't feel bad to take a day off for relaxation. Go for a spa or use DIY masks at home everyday. The idea is to keep you looking good to create a happy self-image.
Join a Group
If you don't have a great number of friends because you have shifted base, then don't despair. Join a local group of people pursuing the same interests as you. It can be a book reading club, a Yoga group, a group of nature lovers or cleanliness volunteers. The more people you meet the better.
Volunteer
Giving really makes you feel instantly happy. Join a group of volunteers or go on your own to the local old age home or orphanage to help out. Nothing is too small. Even feeding the birds in your balcony can bring in immense satisfaction. Give it a try.
Meditate
This is the most difficult thing to do for most so, I kept it for the last. But, meditation, especially when done as a group activity can really change your outlook. Try and get into a meditation group if you can but, if that is not possible, go on YouTube and channel your inner self towards positive energies. It is not too difficult once you have conquered discipline and cleaned up your environment. Try it for keeping the head clean to be able to fight the negativity in you. It is really important to know your own self to make a change in your situation.
The most important trick is to be grateful for whatever you have and feel thankful for the glass half-filled.
Be safe and most of all, be happy.
Do share your own experiences (if any) in the comments section or, if my hacks helped you fight the freeze any better.
As circa 2017 rolls to an end, I am left wondering at the speed at which it flew. The roller-coaster
ride has left me breathless and panting. As the days flew by all I was doing was running to catch-up on tasks. Stress has been my arch-enemy for years now and we are often found squaring each other up, looking in the eye and getting ready to fight. This year was no different from the last though over the years I have invented many old fashioned ways to beat stress, my arch-nemesis.
Stress, that dreaded six-letter word never leaves the modern person even for a minute. Whether you are committed to working for one organization or juggling work for a multiple, like I do these days, it keeps dogging your footsteps all the time. The only saving grace this year was the fact that I didn't have to travel as much as I was earlier in my full-time job holder avatar. But, working from home or even from one office for another can be equally tricky because the distractions or the lack of them are often enough to bring on their own set of issues.
Over the years I have found several easy and cost-effective ways to stay happy. I would like to believe that I am my own anti-stress ninja. So because I an feeling extremely generous today
, I thought of sharing some here with anyone who'd care to read this post.
Here's my list:
Meditation: I absolutely swear by it. If you can just sit is one space and count your breath and feel it going in and coming out for even 15 minutes in a day you will be able to face the day much easily.
Chanting: Chant anything that makes you feel good. It could be an ancient and holy mantra or something that you have made up yourself to give you a morale booster. For example, you can chant, "I shall overcome anything that comes my way" over and over right before you start your day and just see how it effects your psyche. You can chant anytime of the day and under any circumstance to overcome your latent fear, fatigue or worries. It always helps.
Deep Breathing: No. This is not a new-age fad. Deep breathing is actually helpful. If you are unable to make a choice or you have too much work that is all on priority, deep breathing will help you overcome any kind of panic. Close your eyes, take a deep breath. Hold it for a few seconds. Pass it out through your mouth. Repeat a few times till the palpitation in you heart has settled down and so has your brain. Don't let panic get the better of you. Never decide when your head and heart are in turmoil.
Walking: This is the best way to settle your mind though I don't walk so much these days as I used to earlier because of the high rate of pollution but, if you are in a deeply troubled state and need to clear your head, walking till you sweat really helps. In case you have trouble sleeping then, half an hour of brisk walking before you sit down for dinner really helps. It works up your appetite and tires you enough to make you fall into sleep on time. In case you have time to take longer walks, then do so by all means, walking is the best cardio exercise you can indulge yourself in. I walk alone but, you can also do it in a group however, see to it that the group should not be walking too slow. The walk that will help you overcome stress and help you sleep needs to be brisk and long. Hang out with your friends at leisure at some other time if they want a leisurely canter with lots of gossip thrown in.
Listen to other peoples' problems: This is a very useful therapy but, indulge only if you can be unbiased and can keep things to yourself. By just listening to other peoples' problems and suggesting solutions as a third party helps you to unplug your immediate worries and lets you think. This helps immensely because, it helps your head and heart to detach from your own sufferings and start thinking of solutions. However, do it ONLY if you can be unbiased and also if you can stay detached to be able to guide and help others without getting sucked into their problems and adding to your own.
Help Out: Do it purely as a physical activity that goes on to help others. It need not necessarily be for an NGO or in a slum. You can help someone ill in the neighborhood by cooking for their family or taking care of their infant or a pet. You could help your elderly neighbor by watering their plants or buying grocery for them when you go out to buy your own. This kind of neighborly volunteering helps you build relationships with real people who appreciate your help and it is not something you need to go out of your way to do either. It's like car pool. You pick up a few people to ride with you because there is space in your car and they are going your way.
Adopt a Pet: It could be a tree that needs watering or a stray cat or dog or any other animal or bird that needs to be fed. You don't need to bring them home, just ensure that they are fed and happy wherever they are and run them to the neighborhood vet if they are not feeling well.
Start a Hobby: This is the best way to beat the blues. Pick up a hobby that doesn't need too much time or expense like, cooking or clicking pictures with your smartphone. You could also take up painting or singing if you have the time and a teacher nearby. Hobbies make you happy. They give you a sense of accomplishment. You could just get a bunch of underprivileged kids on your balcony and teach them the English alphabet if teaching is what you like. The sense of joy is immense.
Travel: Go away for a few days if you can. You could go solo or take that one dear friend with you who never badgers you. Taking a simple break is always a great therapy for a stressed mind. If time is a constrain then play tourist in your city. Instead of hitting the mall, go to a museum or for a painting exhibition. Walk around a famous monument, eat local food from authentic joints or do a picnic with your family on a Sunday. A change of scene is always a great detox. It will help you overcome your immediate problems and think clearly.
Sleep: This is my personal favorite though it is often only a short-term solution. If I don't know the answer to a problem, I sleep on it. Sleep refreshes the body and relaxes the mind. Usually, it is easier to find the solution to your problems when you wake up with an uncluttered mind.
Smile: This is perhaps the most difficult to do than all the others that I have noted above. But, if you can crack a smile and think of a funny incident in the midst of a chaotic day, your stress levels will take a southwards plunge. A smile is like a personal cuddle. It warms you up from inside and immediately relaxes you. Personally, I think of the antics of my young niece whenever I feel stressed. It never fails to make me smile even on a really dark day of work. Whether sitting in a traffic jam or unable to prioritize
work for the day despite multiple deadlines, a simple happy thought and the smile that it brings can relax you in seconds. So, keep the happy memories handy on a difficult day. Think of all the happy times you have had and smile a lot.
These are a few things that I practice to de-clutter and reactivate my brains on stressful days and even when things are going great. The idea is to practice these things so that they become a part of your life and personality. With these simple things as a part of your life, you can breathe happy and stay stress-free all the time.
(Images courtesy, the Internet)
