To the Pedantic Penis

Enough is enough!
This is my space, my life.
I will do whatever I like.
Don't come in my way.
Don't interfere.
Don't tell me I can't.
Keep your pedantic penis to yourself.
If I need any advice,
I'll ask.
Keep out.
Stay away.
I can run the home.
Manage finances.
Light the fire.
Change the bulbs.
Open jars
Mend the car.
Take out the trash.
Also,
Cook,
Read,
Clean,
Do the accounts,
Write cheques.
Wash the dishes,
Lift weights,
Manage children.
Run, drink, smoke.
Climb mountains.
So, take your dirty shoes,
The wet towels.
Your soiled laundry.
Your moods.
Bottles of beer.
Overflowing ashtrays.
And your food critique.
I am done with your ego.
And dare not call my vagina vain.
It's far more liberal,
Than your ideas on the gays.
Or your jokes on blondes.
It's not that I don't love you.
I just love myself more.
As I should.
So, find some other place.
Don't sully my space.
I can manage without your "help".
In fact, if you seek my opinion,
It is you who needs "help"
Not me.
Can you make another person
All by yourself?
Think.